Understanding the Misunderstandings

P.O Box 1540, Albany Western Australia 6331
Phone/Fax: (08) 98 418 418
E-mail: abl-alb@omninet.net.au

Understanding the Misunderstandings
Beethoven once wrote to a friend, "Slight misunderstandings often occur between us, but they only serve to strengthen the relationship." Well, misunderstandings in relationships are, of course, unavoidable. They are like thunderstorms. We always seem to get caught in them without our umbrellas-but even so, sometimes it's best just to relax and enjoy a walk in the rain. However, friend, handled with the right attitudes, misunderstandings can clarify and even strengthen a relationship. Here's how: We can develop the courage to speak honestly with each other and discuss the problems openly. We can also learn to sort through our feelings and determine which ones are caused by another person and which have been self-inflicted. You see, most of the things we call "personality conflicts" are really conflicts within our own selves. So first, look for the source of the conflict within yourself. Then you can more easily decide to be open to change. You can reconsider what you have always done, or thought, or been. It isn't a matter of jumping through anyone else's hoops; it is a matter of being open and free to change when you see a better way. Yes, being open to change is painful, but the rewards are wonderful. "Better to be wounded in battle for love than always to walk in armour," says Margaret Fuller. But of course, too much anger makes it impossible to make the conflict constructive. It turns into a bar-room brawl in which someone shoots out the light and you're shooting and slugging in the dark. The insults fly. Your blood comes to a boil. And the later in the night it gets, the worse it gets. Perhaps you could apply the same philosophy to your anger that you are beginning to apply to your expectations and prejudices. Let go. You do have the right to let go of your anger you know. In fact, the ability to let go is a powerful human response. And I believe it is one that is very under-used. So remember-no matter what has happened, no matter who is in the wrong-you always have the right to let anger go. Wave a white flag. Tell a stupid joke. Dance a jig. Do whatever you have to do to break the tension and reduce the pressure. Friend, don't let work or busyness or emotions or anything keep you from doing what you need to do to enhance and improve and strengthen those important relationships in your life, because, on the very last day of your life, it is your relationships that will matter most. And to win at relationships-even through troubles, misunderstandings and failures-is one of the most important ways of winning as a human being. Perhaps the following statement, I'd like to share with you right now, might provide you with some encouragement. I hope so! Smile at each other; smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, it doesn't matter who it is - and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other. Mother Teresa of Calcutta If you are facing some crisis in your life at this present time and would like some help to pull your life back together, I'd like to help by sending you a FREE booklet titled "DEALING POSITIVELY WITH CRISIS." To receive your copy by return mail, simply write to me at: P.O. Box 1540, Albany WA 6331. If you prefer, you can phone me on: (08) 9841 8418. Email: abl-alb@omninet.net.au

Beethoven once wrote to a friend, "Slight misunderstandings often occur between us, but they only serve to strengthen the relationship."

Well, misunderstandings in relationships are, of course, unavoidable. They are like thunderstorms. We always seem to get caught in them without our umbrellas-but even so, sometimes it's best just to relax and enjoy a walk in the rain.

However, friend, handled with the right attitudes, misunderstandings can clarify and even strengthen a relationship. Here's how: We can develop the courage to speak honestly with each other and discuss the problems openly. We can also learn to sort through our feelings and determine which ones are caused by another person and which have been self-inflicted. You see, most of the things we call "personality conflicts" are really conflicts within our own selves.

So first, look for the source of the conflict within yourself. Then you can more easily decide to be open to change. You can reconsider what you have always done, or thought, or been. It isn't a matter of jumping through anyone else's hoops; it is a matter of being open and free to change when you see a better way. Yes, being open to change is painful, but the rewards are wonderful. "Better to be wounded in battle for love than always to walk in armour," says Margaret Fuller.

But of course, too much anger makes it impossible to make the conflict constructive. It turns into a bar-room brawl in which someone shoots out the light and you're shooting and slugging in the dark. The insults fly. Your blood comes to a boil. And the later in the night it gets, the worse it gets. Perhaps you could apply the same philosophy to your anger that you are beginning to apply to your expectations and prejudices. Let go. You do have the right to let go of your anger you know. In fact, the ability to let go is a powerful human response. And I believe it is one that is very under-used.

So remember-no matter what has happened, no matter who is in the wrong-you always have the right to let anger go. Wave a white flag. Tell a stupid joke. Dance a jig. Do whatever you have to do to break the tension and reduce the pressure.

Friend, don't let work or busyness or emotions or anything keep you from doing what you need to do to enhance and improve and strengthen those important relationships in your life, because, on the very last day of your life, it is your relationships that will matter most. And to win at relationships-even through troubles, misunderstandings and failures-is one of the most important ways of winning as a human being. Perhaps the following statement, I'd like to share with you right now, might provide you with some encouragement. I hope so!

Smile at each other; smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, it doesn't matter who it is - and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other. Mother Teresa of Calcutta

If you are facing some crisis in your life at this present time and would like some help to pull your life back together, I'd like to help by sending you a FREE booklet titled "DEALING POSITIVELY WITH CRISIS." To receive your copy by return mail, simply write to me at: P.O. Box 1540, Albany WA 6331. If you prefer, you can phone me on: (08) 9841 8418. Email: abl-alb@omninet.net.au